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Drunk Divorced Floozie
(The Ballad of Diana Spencer)

She was a drunk divorced floozie
Goin' a hundred and twenty miles per hour
With her A-rab-play-boy-toy
Down by the Eiffel Tower
The driver just drank eight bottles of wine
Ain't seen her kids in a long, long time

She's just a jet set party girl
Gone to meet her maker
That nobility crap
Don't stop the undertaker
Car catapulted into a concrete cave
She fell in with a bad crowd
Now she's in her grave

It was a pitiful public display
of unwarranted grief
A sure sign that
our emptiness is complete
No matter what you say
it wasn't no tragedy
And son you can't blame
the paparazzi

She won the female lottery
And she lived the fairy tale
Married big ears
But as princess she failed
She birthed him two heirs
to the throne
But she couldn't keep the
royal member happy at home

She was a drunk divorced floozie
Gallivanting in France
She died in the backseat
Unzippin' Dodis pants
A buncha non-working rich pigs
So camera shy
They got drunk, drove fast & proceeded to die

She was a drunk dee-vorced flooz-ee